


Silk Sheets

by bioticbootyshaker



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 10:49:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/661127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bioticbootyshaker/pseuds/bioticbootyshaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After arriving in Starkhaven and being told their relationship is over, Fenris is surprised when Sebastian summons him to the palace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silk Sheets

Her fingers touched his throat, light, gentle. Her breath followed, chasing the fingers that plotted a course down his neck and over his collarbone. Flora bit down over bone, as gentle as her fingertips, her eyes flicking up to him questioningly. Sebastian wished to assuage her, to ease her troubled thoughts and the disquiet in her heart, but he couldn’t speak. He supposed, given what he had been through and all the changes that had occurred after leaving Kirkwall, his difficulty in offering comfort was understandable; but it was more than that. 

Sebastian looked into her eyes and he saw a friend. A friend who had been involved – no matter how implicitly -- in the actions that had led to the ruin of his family, surely, but a friend nonetheless. She did not excite his blood or cause his stomach to tighten or tighten his skin with want. She merely… caused his breath to catch when her teeth dragged over his skin. It was instinct, reaction of the body and no deeper, but Flora seemed to take it as an invitation to more, and Sebastian did not dissuade her. 

Images came to his mind as he closed his eyes and let Flora inch lower on his body. They were unbidden, and as such, it was nearly impossible to be rid of them. Sebastian did not think of Flora, but of someone his hands longed for and his heart ached for and every breath he released demanded to be full of his name. Fenris had followed Sebastian to Starkhaven, but there had been nothing either of them could do about their situation. The most Sebastian had been able to provide Fenris was a stable job and the promise of his freedom. The last time he had seen Fenris, he had left him with a chaste kiss on the forehead and his word that there could be nothing more. 

Fenris was impossible to understand when he kept himself guarded. Sebastian had been sure the man was upset; disappointed and angry and embittered, but Fenris had only nodded curtly and turned from him. 

_Flora_ , Sebastian reminded himself. The woman’s name was like a slap to the face, or the shock of ice cold water on his body. Sebastian opened his eyes and looked down into Flora’s wide, questioning stare. She had unbuttoned his shirt and held her lips between his ribs, over the cluster of dark freckles that Fenris had so enjoyed favoring with breath and tongue. _No_ , Sebastian thought, sternly, _No more. You can’t hold on now_.

“Bear your heart to me,” Flora whispered. Her breath was warm against him, making a small shiver move up his spine. “And you will see it treated with tenderness. I would love you with the depth and breadth of my soul, Sebastian, if you would not hide from me.”

_I am nothing but a slave, Sebastian. Nothing but a broken man who has too much anger and not enough tenderness in his hands or heart. You would do well to remember that, to stay far away from me, to forget me as best you can_.

Yes, Fenris had warned him, but Sebastian had not paid him any attention. He had moved against him, against the long, lean, powerful curves of his body, and when he had kissed Fenris he had tasted bittersweet. How could he possibly bear his heart to Flora when so much pain and regret lingered there? How could he show her the depths of himself when Fenris still lived in his veins like a sweet poison?

Flora’s mouth moved lower, tongue slicking over a more intimate pulse. If Flora knew that pulse didn’t beat for her, or quicken at her insistence, she didn’t seem to mind. If she did not know, Sebastian had not the heart to tell her. He settled himself back with a low sigh and slipped his fingers through her hair. 

****

When he had arrived in the city, Fenris had found the cold unbearable, but as he stepped out on his third month in Starkhaven, he hardly even noticed the chill in the air. He was only aware of how cold it was when he watched his breath rush in front of his face. Fenris pulled up the hood of his cloak and set off for the heart of the city.

He had been summoned by Sebastian. When the messenger had informed him, Fenris’ stomach had dropped and his heart had beat like a drum against his ribs. It had taken him several minutes to calm down enough to respond to the young man waiting for his answer. Of course he would meet with Sebastian; to refuse him was impossible. The young man no doubt believed Fenris feared Sebastian if he were to decline his summons; in actuality, Fenris feared more what would happen once he was near to the man.

As Fenris walked through the city, he thought of Sebastian the last time he had seen him. He hadn’t been engaged at the time, naturally, only considering his options. Fenris could remember how he had shifted and refused to meet his eyes, how his words had come halting and soft, how his lips had trembled and his shoulders had sagged. Everything about Sebastian had always been so prideful, so strong and regal; but that night he had been but a shadow of his former self.

It no longer mattered. He had explained to Fenris – in no uncertain terms – that they could no longer be together. The people of Starkhaven would never accept Fenris, it was Sebastian’s duty to produce an heir, and Fenris would never be satisfied with being nothing more than Sebastian’s whore. Fenris had wanted to remind Sebastian that he had promised him a lifetime, but he hadn’t had the heart. Instead, they had gone to bed one last time, their bodies stiff and unyielding, and Sebastian had left a kiss against his lips, too desperate and bittersweet for Fenris’ liking. Then he had been gone, and Fenris had possessed nothing to hold onto but his own bitterness.

What could Sebastian possibly want from him? He had done nothing wrong. Fenris had proved himself an excellent master to his students, schooling them well in the art of swordsmanship and brutality. His platoon of soldiers had felled more enemies than the whole of the entire Starkhaven army combined, so surely Sebastian had no complaints to voice. If he summoned Fenris as nothing but a companion for the evening, he would be refused, and surely he knew that. Fenris had explained to Sebastian – in no uncertain terms – that he would not be merely a body in the night for him to curb his carnal hunger.

Perhaps he meant to see Fenris from the city. It was possible. Regardless of how well he performed his duties, he was likely a distraction for Sebastian, a hole in the center of his heart that grew ever wider whenever he was spotted or a report of his platoon found its way to Sebastian’s hands. If that was the case, Fenris would leave with no argument. He held no care for the city, or its citizens. It was a good enough place, but he would never call it home.

He knew he would be sick with himself until he found out what Sebastian desired from him. Fenris quickened his pace and pulled his hood tighter around his face to ward off the driving wind.

 

****

Sebastian was waiting in his bedchamber. Fenris had never seen anything so grand in his life. The room was nearly the size of his entire home, and far more luxurious. A canopied bed dominated one wall, covered in rose-colored silk sheets that begged to be touched and clutched between fingers and---

No. Those were dangerous thoughts. Fenris did not allow them to sink their roots into his mind. Instead, he looked away from the bed and towards the large door that opened up onto a balcony. Fenris imagined he could see most of Starkhaven from that balcony, and it made him feel terribly small. He had not felt so insignificant since his time in Tevinter, and it constricted his heart and made his breath catch in his throat.

When Fenris had calmed himself enough, and when he was sure he could trust himself, he met Sebastian’s eyes. 

Three months. 

It seemed to be nothing but a moment, nothing but a single breath, since he had last seen Sebastian. And yet, it also felt like an eternity, like an interminable amount of time in which he had suffered. Fenris said nothing, but he kept his eyes level and his chin tilted upwards. He had nothing if he abandoned his pride. 

“You look well,” Sebastian said. Stiff, formal, not at all like the man who had once traced his tongue over Fenris’ spine and held him wet and trembling in his hands. Fenris felt a pang of – what? Sorrow, perhaps, or maybe it was something less severe; maybe it was nothing but the passing of an idle fancy. Because he had known, deep in his heart where reason was cold and hard, that he and Sebastian would never last. No matter what sweet promises Sebastian had made him in the night when their bodies were close, Fenris had known.

“As do you,” Fenris said. Just as stiff, just as formal. He couldn’t afford to let himself be stripped naked and made vulnerable. He had to keep his guard up, keep his defenses solid around his heart. The man had gotten inside of him once before, and he had been brutal.

“I have… Ah, please sit, Fenris.”

Fenris took a seat in one of the overstuffed chairs in the center of the room. Everything in the room was far too soft. He detested it, though he caught the same dislike in Sebastian’s eyes. The man had forgotten such softness during his time in Kirkwall, and he seemed to be taking to it as oil did to water. 

Sebastian did not sit. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and his face angled towards the door leading to the balcony. Fenris traced the crooked curve of his nose, and had to fight the urge to cross the floor to him and touch the bump on Sebastian’s nose with his lips. Too much had changed, and nothing had. 

“Was there something you needed from me?” Fenris asked. He had no doubt that no one in the palace dared speak to Sebastian with such bluntness, but he was far too tired to worry about his tone of voice, or what royal little feathers he might ruffle. Once you had exposed a man -- the very core of him where his weakness and his hopes and his darkest desires lived—there was no need to stand on ceremony. Once you had looked into his eyes and seen the longing in them, the sadness and the ache, once you had kissed the tears from his face… there was nothing he could do or say that you wouldn’t be ready for.

So Fenris thought. 

But when Sebastian said, “Tell me to leave this place and I will leave,” Fenris was proven wrong. He wasn’t ready for that, or for the way Sebastian looked at him, with his blue eyes nearly on fire. He swallowed, found no spit in his mouth, and ended up sputtering.

Why, after three months, would Sebastian make such a demand? 

Fenris tried to speak, but no words would come. In truth, he didn’t know what there was to say, or if he should say anything at all. Sebastian had obviously taken leave of his senses, and Fenris shouldn’t encourage his foolishness.

“You can’t,” Fenris said. “You made it clear to me that Starkhaven needs you. And if they need you, they need you as their prince. A prince must produce an heir. I am many things, Sebastian, but I am not a fool. I understand how the world works, at least well enough.”

“It is not a world I want any part of,” Sebastian said. He moved closer. Fenris curled his fingers against the too-soft chair, not sure if he should retreat or rise and match Sebastian’s steps. “Any world where I cannot have you is cruel and I _want no part of it_.”

His heart was beating quickly. Fenris could feel his pulse jumping at his throat. He closed his eyes, but that wouldn’t do. Sebastian wanted to be seen, and be heard, and while the man had broken his heart, he had also seen him given a purpose; he owed him that much. 

“Your betrothed---“

“Flora Harimann is a good woman,” Sebastian said. “A good friend, even though the betrayal of her family is not so easily forgotten; but she is not you, Fenris. She will not love me with the same strength and temerity. She will be a good wife, of that I have no doubt; but I will look at her, and she will look at me – ten years or fifteen from now – and we will see nothing but a body filling a necessary space. We will be condemned to a loveless marriage, a loveless life, and it is as unfair to her as it is to me.”

“Plenty of royalty have lived through loveless marriages,” Fenris said. “It is the way things are, Sebastian. Starkhaven---“

Sebastian smiled. Fenris recognized the smile. It was the one Sebastian wore when he thought Fenris was being adorably frustrating. Nothing but a twitch at the corners of his lips, but Fenris knew it. And he knew, too, that if you had acquainted yourself so well with each and every twitch and curl of a man’s lips, there could be no living without him.

Fenris sighed. “What would you do, then? Would you run away with me? Live the life of a farmer or a merchant in a poor town? Would love sustain you when your heart ached for Starkhaven or your body for this luxury and comfort?” Fenris looked at Sebastian, his eyes hard, but not without love and pity. “Would you live on your love for me, Sebastian, and nothing else?”

He expected Sebastian to drop his eyes, to try and proclaim with indolence that he would, that he could, that his love for Fenris was strong enough to weather any storm. Instead, Sebastian held his stare, and while he did speak passionately, he did sound childish or lovelorn or blinded by tender things. 

“No,” Sebastian said. “Love alone would not sustain me. I would miss my fine things. I would miss my power and my title. I would miss my land. But if you were gone from me, I would miss you _more_. I would want for you as a man wants for water in the desert, and you would be just as far out of my reach. I would want for you until it was the death of me.”

There was nothing he could ever hope to say to something like that. Words weren’t good enough, they could never be good enough when the man he loved stood in front of him and ripped his heart out and held it out for him. 

For three months Fenris had lived with thoughts of Sebastian and little else. He had thought of him living in his palace with his pretty wife and his pretty children and all the while he would be terribly alone, and terribly empty, and terribly in need of something Flora could never give him. Fenris had no doubts that she was a good woman, that she would make a fine wife, that she would be good to Sebastian; but her life was not rooted in his own. Her body would not feel incomplete without Sebastian inside of her; her heart would not feel empty without Sebastian close to her, her breath would not catch in her chest without Sebastian to kiss her mouth.

She might love him, but she would not be consumed with him and by him, of that Fenris was sure.

“And where will we go?” Fenris asked. “We cannot stay here.”

Sebastian, for a wonder, laughed. 

“I don’t see what’s so funny,” Fenris said. He frowned.

“For so long I was torn about the best course of action to take: To remain in the Chantry or to return here to rule my people. Neither of those choices were right for me, and I knew it then. Neither suited my tastes, or called to my heart. Maker forgive me, Fenris, but the moment I saw you, I knew that I would be at your whim. Where you go, I will follow. Command me.” He smiled, then, not his earlier smile, but something wide and genuine and beautifully crooked. “I am yours,” Sebastian said.

The words made Fenris shiver. He couldn’t hide it, and he couldn’t fight it. He decided the best thing to do was to let it travel the course of his body, to rise as the shiver rode his spine and to close the distance between their bodies. For a moment, they were still, looking at one another as strangers might; and then Sebastian cupped his cheek in his hand, Fenris sighed his name, and everything became indistinct.

Fenris was sure of only two things:

Sebastian kissed like a randy school boy.

His sheets were as soft as they looked; and they did, in fact, crush easily under Fenris’ fingers.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Title:** Silk Sheets  
>  **Word Count:** 2911  
>  **Rating:** M  
>  **Warnings:** Sexual content, nudity  
>  **Disclaimer:** Dragon Age (c) Bioware  & EA
> 
> So... this happened.  
> I'm not sure why.  
> Played DA2 earlier and had a strong urge to write some Sebris.


End file.
